


w4nt_y0u.exe

by BisexGhoul



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hacker AU, Hacker!MC, It's going to be a happy fic at some point, Slow Burn, but it also has some angst in it, but still, implied panic attack, not much, spoilery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8945851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BisexGhoul/pseuds/BisexGhoul
Summary: All your life you have been running from your past.
   But then something happens and you meet him and everything takes a turn for the worst in the best way possible.





	1. our_m3mories.tc

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters and whatnot.
> 
> The rating may go up to Teen, depending on how this story feels like evolving.
> 
> Also, I do not have a final outline of this, it may got either which way, but I would love feedback on it.
> 
> And really, this is so self-indulgent it hurt. I read a fic with a OC as a hacker and the idea got stuck in my head. So please be kind, don't eat my insides if the characterization is not on point, I am yet to play Seven's route.

You tried to remember how you got here. With your labored breath and misty eyes. You were back in Korea after five years of trying to outrun your demons. While fiddling with your phone you found this app and decided to install it. Little did you know how it would change your life.

Your curious nature gets the better of you when present with the opportunity to explore a mysterious address. So you go. Next thing you know you are inside a neat looking apartment, slightly bigger than your current living conditions. After carefully analyzing the lock system of the door the first thing you notice when stepping inside are the CCTV cameras. You tried not to stare as to not draw attention that you were aware of them.

The app logs into a group chat and it all goes downhill from there. The people in the chat are of varying degrees of suspicious, curious and probably scare. You notice one of them mentions something about a background check and for a second you freeze, hoping that whomever watched the CCTV feed doesn’t see it. In the next moment you relax remembering that no matter how good they were or how hard they dug into your past, they would never find anything because you did not exist anymore on the cyberspace.

Something heavy settled at the bottom of your stomach as their hacker pointed out you have a clean background, that they have seen a picture of you and that a certain V was called into action. Several things happened then. Your heartbeat increased its pace, you hands felt clammy against your phone and the room started getting rather spinny. You knew it was impossible for their hacker to have found something on you. Especially a photo. All of your data was encrypted by you. The key was unbreakable.

You felt a small drop of sweat roll down your temple and onto your cheek so you decided to make your feet move towards the bed. You sit on it reveling at the softness of the sheets and press your fingertips to it.

These guys each had their personalities as you could see: Jumin Han - a true businessman; Jaehee Kang - as professional as they get; Yoosung Kim - just your average existential crisis student; Zen - an artist at heart and all throughout his body; and Seven. A gasp left your lips when you remembered. More like brought it back into focus because the memory of him never really left. But right now, you chose to not be hopeful despite the fact that having in mind how almost next to impossible was to decrypt your keys, maybe their hacker was lying about having found anything because he already knew.

Except maybe...and then you felt it. The all too familiar bitterness on the tip of your tongue, your pulse accelerating. If it was really him maybe that meant he would be able to buy his immunity by giving you to the secret services. You were a too valuable asset and an international fugitive at that.

Throwing all precautions out the window in regards to the CCTV camera you pulled your other phone out from a hidden pocket in your purse and looked at it feeling a lump in your throat. Its screen was dancing with lights and colors as it was ringing. Your heart sunk into your stomach because no one had this number.

You swallowed around the lump and answered. An oddly playful voice greeted you.

“Oh, you answered!” You could feel the amusement in his voice as if your world wasn’t collapsing all around you right now. He found you out because of your own sheer stupidity and inattentiveness. You wanted to slap yourself. By walking in this apartment, you condemned yourself. He was a genius hacker, he must have planted all over the apartment means to intercept any signal transmitter and he must have recognized you signature code - thought which did not cross your mind at that moment.

“What.” It wasn’t a question and it was said with such a trembling and frail voice that you did not recognize as your own. 

“I only hoped I would get in contact with you again, MC.” Your eyebrows drew in confusion for a brief second, your mind too occupied as you tried to think of a route to escape, but then it hit you.

It was really him. Hope flourished inside your chest as memories started flooding. Five years ago you both were working for rival agencies. When you got the job of getting dirt on one of the best hackers out there you felt the thrill of the prospect down your spine. There weren’t many people that could compare to your genius, but if there was someone that could represent a challenge, you wanted all in. Of course you jumped at the opportunity. You were also reckless besides curious and you wanted to see how this would unfold. For months on end you tried to hack into his systems and him in yours. It was like a beautiful elegant dance, a back and forth of sorts.

These months had you both so focused on one another that you never did realize how much of a fixture in your life he had become. You two would always leave secret coded messages for one another whenever one of you breached the other’s system. Sometimes you both would leave a small weakness somewhere so that you would know for sure you could carry on talking. You two never really talked about personal life. You didn’t want him asking about your past so you didn’t inquire about his. It was for the best.

You agency decided to send you to Korea to do some fieldwork, their pressure of also finding something on Seven increasing. Whilst there you both set up a meeting point so you would settle your dispute once and for all. What you never accounted for was the broken 16 years old you had to face. Only 18 yourself, you felt the air in your lungs go out in a hurry as you took him in. Red hoodie, glasses slightly crooked, his red hair a mess, those damned headphones around his neck. And the bags under his eyes. Those were what tipped you off. Because you knew that look all too well. You knew pain.

Which made you come to the following conclusion: you would leave your agency so that they would have no means of catching Seven and you would go into hiding. You were good at that. You did that your whole life. So after offering one another a broken smile, you kissed his cheek and went your way.

But here you were, five years later, having that broken boy on the other line, hearing his voice again. You didn’t know what to make of it. So you took a deep breath and decided to go with it.

“It’s been a while, Seven.” You tone sounded hollow yet with the right amount of practiced confidence. A soft sad chuckle echoed in your ear. You knew he could see right through your facade.

For a few pressing seconds only both of your breathing could be heard perhaps both of you swimming into the past. Then, as curious as ever, you decided to try and piece the puzzle together.

“Why did you tell everyone the background check came in clean?” Despite the earlier surge of confidence, your voice now sounded small, unsure.

“Because I know you. And if you meant any ill you would have hacked your way in, not nicely step into the chat room.” He said with the same old sadness in his voice.

A small smile graced your features as a huff of air left your lips. He was right.

“And also because once I realized it was you I wanted to meet with you. For old time’s sake.”

The smile froze on your lips. You were still tentative. Whatever you two shared back then you knew Seven would do anything in order to achieve his goals and giving you off to the secret services was not to be excluded.

“Don’t worry, MC. I really just want to talk.” He sounded so sad that you could almost see again before you that small boy, mop of red hair, with wounded golden eyes.

“Okay.” You let out in a soft whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments fuel my motivation so please please leave feedback I live for it I swear.
> 
> Find my tumblr [here](http://smokeandneedles.tumblr.com).


	2. l0nging.ssf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say when you don't find the fic you want, write it yourself.

After ending the call with Seven you carried on reading and responding to messages in the chat room. By the end of it you agreed to join the organisation and help with the charitable parties. You knew you had Seven’s approval given that he didn’t say anything about your identity so you decided to maybe welcome a change for the better in your life.

Once the conversation ended you made your way out of the apartment with Seven’s address in mind. The drive from Rika’s apartment to Seven’s house went by in a haze of you either drifting into memories of the past five years or by being hyper aware of the surroundings.

You got off the cab a few streets back so you could walk to his house. The sky was a soft gray and snowflakes started decorating your surroundings. You thought it would start gathering on the pavement by next morning. The chill in the air settling comfortably under your skin for winter was your favorite season after all.

When you found yourself in front of Seven’s home your eyes automatically scanned for CCTV cameras and if there was any sign of a trap. You spotted one camera right above the door as you stopped in front of it. Your hand sneaked out of your pocket and you pressed the doorbell only to be greeted by a robotic voice.

“Please state your name.”

Confusion graced your features, but nonetheless you said your name out loud.

“Now declare your undying love for God Seven in Arabic.” A startled laugh left your lips then you glanced directly at the CCTV camera.

“Open up, Luciel.” Your lips curled into a small grin as the door opened soon after and a familiar mop of red hair made itself known. All amusement was soon forgotten in favor of nostalgia.

When both of your eyes met you felt the time freeze. Seven looked...older. Mature. A man in his right. His hair was slightly longer than the last time you saw him. His features elongated. He was just as beautiful as back then.

You felt a sob rise in your throat, but you were a fugitive for far too long to let something as fleeting as emotion be clear on your face. You wore your mask too well. So you decided a small sincere smile play on your lips, but that did not stop your eyes from getting slightly misty.

“Hi.” He said with a voice much sadder than what his expression conveyed. You wondered whether this small vulnerability was left in plain sight with his consent or if he still had trouble hiding his emotions. You thought the latter was not as true as it might have been five years ago.

“Hi..” Came your answer soon after. He stepped back just as you shyly made your way inside his home. You almost swore at him for being so careless as to invite a stranger into his house, one that could potentially unravel all his secrets, one that could put the secret services on his ass. But at the same time you were too overwhelmed by seeing him again to be mad at him that he threw precaution out of the window.

Or maybe he didn’t. Because you sure as hell didn’t. You made sure your signal was not traced and you took at least three detours and four different cars just to make sure you weren’t followed.

After he closed the door with a soft click as if scared not to ruin whatever unspoken agreement was between the two of you, you followed him around the house. He kept his distance from you and you from him. You both were too broken and it has been too long for you to play friends with one another.

Once you reached the living room you took a seat on the couch while he sat on one of the armchairs. You fidgeted with your coat and your beanie, took them off then nicely put them on the armrest next to you. He chose to sit in the seat that was the farthest from you. You were fine with that, you had no idea what this was or would be either.

“It’s good to see you, Seven.” You decided to say tentatively after a couple of minutes of heavy silence have passed. Your eyes searched his and what you saw there stopped your breath. His mask was shattering and you could clearly see the pieces falling and crashing on the ground. All of this felt much heavier than it should and you wondered why. It shouldn’t be this hard to breathe, you were just two people that used to know each other and now were meeting again after a long time.

“You look good, MC!” He said a second later, in a much too cheerful voice, his smile strained. Maybe he wondered just the same as you as to why the air was so heavy. “You haven’t changed much. Your eyes are as captivating as ever.” You felt heat rise to your cheeks.He tended to do that whenever he was nervous or was trying to hide something from you - he would compliment you. But that didn’t mean it would downplay his words.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Luciel.” You said with a smile lifting the corners of your rosy lips. Amusement played on his features as you saw his shoulders visibly relax.

“I’m glad you are still alive.” His eyes got that distant look, his voice barely above a whisper. “No matter how hard I tried to find traces of you, I couldn’t.”

At that an amused huff of air left you. “Damn right you couldn’t. I wouldn’t be here if anyone could trace anything back to my location now, would I?” You tried to lighten the mood with a slightly joking tone, but the both of you knew how true that was.

His right hand shot up to fix his crooked glasses just in time with your own as you placed a strand of hair behind your ear. The silence was so awkward and you both felt so unsettled by the other’s presence. You decided to try and fall back into a comfortable discussion.

“Were you able to achieve your goal?” You tried, but it proved to be the wrong thing to say. His lips pressed into a thin line, his piercing gaze on you. You had no idea what his goal was back then only that it ate at him no matter what he did. It was what he wanted to get out of the organisation he was in back then and the primary source of his depression.

“Not really.” And there it was again, his composure free-falling to the ground. You stood up in a hurry and kneeled besides his legs. Without much of a warning, your arms sneaked around his neck and you buried your face in his shoulder.

His body froze, his hesitation speaking volumes. Just as you were about to step out if the embrace and pray to whatever god there was for the ground to swallow you and your embarrassment, his hand gripped tightly at you one in your hair and one on your back. His face was hidden by your neck and you could feel with every nerve ending in your body how the pieces of his sanity were starting to slip through your fingers.

A sob wrenched his body, making you shudder and that’s when you realized that despite his friends - the people in the RFA with whom Seven seemed to get on with - he was just as lonely as you. Because no one else could know your pain, your past or your emptiness. You felt like crying yourself, but decided against it. Something told you he needed the emotional comfort more than you.

So you held him as tight as you could and waited until his burden felt slightly less heavy. It could have been mere minutes, or long hours; you didn’t care. You knees started hurting and your back was in an awkward position, but you kept on holding him tight to your chest whilst your fingers stroked his soft hair.

After a while, the sobbing stopped and you didn’t even care how wet your shirt was, you were just happy that when he pulled his face back you could read lightness in his eyes. He didn’t pull his body back fully so your arms were still around his neck, your faces only inches close, your breaths mingling. His eyes were roaming around your face, probably trying to memorize your features, then settled on your lips. He looked back into your eyes and moved slightly closer, his lids slowly falling over his golden irises.

You eyes widened in surprise as you felt his lips press softly on your forehead. Your heart was beating faster, adrenaline pumping in your veins, hating him for a second for leaving you craving his kiss so much.

“Thank you.” He murmured wetly against your skin.

You took a breath you did not realize you were holding and nodded at him. Your eyes looked into his and he both seemed apologetic and determined. Only later would you actually acknowledge that his decision to not kiss you was for the better.

As you walked back towards a safer place from which to take a cab one of your hands moved towards your face and you traced your lower lip with one fingertip. The ghost of his smile echoed in your memories as all around you snow was burying away the ground as if it were so easy for you to bury your past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do forgive me if Seven seems off. Also as I said I have no fixed plan for this fic so it may not be as consistent as I would like.
> 
> Your comments fuel my motivation so please please leave feedback I live for it I swear.
> 
> Find my tumblr [here](http://smokeandneedles.tumblr.com).
> 
> I would like to thank my beta for keeping it real with me because otherwise you guys would get a half-assed excuse of a fic.


	3. play_catch.txt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback to how it all started.

Your back hurts when you try to straighten your spine. There’s a crick in your neck that has been bothering you for the half hour. You try to blink away your tiredness, but each brush of your eyelids against your eyes feels as if there was sand trapped between them. You narrow your eyes trying to glance at the digital clock that sits next to your computer monitor. It reads 3 am.

A not so flattering frustrated groan leaves your lips. Your fingers feel clammy and your arteries are downright aching as you push your glasses back up on your nose. You don’t exactly need them in order to see properly, but they somewhat protect your eyes against the bright computer lights.

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you glance at the screen. For the past 5 hours you tried your damnedest to find a crack in 707’s code. This guy was good.

A couple of weeks ago you had been assigned by your agency to hack into 707’s systems and try to find any incriminating evidence of him ill-doing so that your agency could sick the secret services on his ass. This guy was one of the best out there and he was a threat to your agency specifically because of their involvement in cover-ups and other illegal activities which you tried your best not to partake. But 707 could possibly get into your databases and turn everything - all the hard work and all the lives lost - to shit. And there was only so much you could do.

You were good, there was no doubt about that. As of the current time, there was none better than you out there in the world. And you knew that for sure because they tried in multiple occasions to hack your security measures and none of them could. Your system was foolproof. It had to be otherwise your work would have been for naught and your life would lose all its value.

You weren’t a field agent, you didn’t go on life or death missions, you barely saw any other people in the agency. You just knew they existed and they knew where you lived. At least you think you should look on the bright side; you had no other family to speak of so they couldn’t threaten to hurt anyone close to you. That was good, right? Right??

You sighed as you felt the cold hands of your depression stab its dirty nails inside your thoughts. With a shake of your head, you picked up the mug of coffee that was sitting somewhere near your mouse. Noticing it was empty you got up and made your way to the kitchen.

It was common knowledge - well, it would be if you had any person to speak of that would care about you - that you weren’t particularly fond of dwelling on the past. You poured some cold coffee from the coffee mug and took a big gulp. The bitter taste eased the ache in your chest, but couldn’t work miracles on how bad your eyes stung.

Turning around in order to go back to your room an incessant beeping could be heard. Coming from your computer. At 3 am. After you just tried to hack one of the best hackers out there. You hurried and almost tripped on your feet in your haste to reach the computer.

If this guy managed to get through this level of security you were fucked. “Shit.” You muttered under your breath as you set the mug on the desk perhaps a bit harder than you intended then sat on your chair. Your eyes scanned the monitor as to the source of the annoying beeping sound.

“What the hell?” Your eyebrows gathered in a deep frown as a confused murmur slipped past your lips. The alarm stopped blaring when you found the source. There were several attempts at breaching your main system. That meant the guy got past through your alarm systems as if it was nothing. And he maybe could have tried a few more times if he wouldn’t have triggered the alarm by mistake. Or at least that’s what you think.

If 707 managed to do that it meant that even the slightest of mistakes on your part could mean the end of your career. The end of you. You exhaled relieved because there seemed to not be anything wrong with your data. Upon a closer inspection though you noticed a text file hidden in plain sight. _play_catch.txt_

You were intrigued. After scanning the file you decided that it was safe to open. It was just a plain .txt file. No need for worrying. With a nervousness crawling underneath your skin you double clicked the icon and the Notepad file opened.

_I noticed how you keep trying my computer for around two weeks._

_I didn’t think there would be any need to worry, many others have tried before you, but today you got very close._

_I’m impressed._

_~707_

Involuntarily, your lips curled up into an amused smile. Alas, your amusement was short-lived. You needed to do something about this guy, and do it quickly. He was too dangerous. Your agency started targeting him in the first place because he was working as an independent hacker as far as you all knew and trying to expose politicians who were into not so conventional things. Politicians that had ties to your own agency. That’s why there was pressure on you to find something that could lead the secret services to him. Your life was on the line.

You cracked your knuckles and noticed the dull pain coming from the crick in your neck and you decided to give it another try. When you managed to slip past the security you hesitated. Maybe you could lure something out of him. He seemed to like playing games if his earlier antics were a clue as to his personality. He wanted to play catch? So be it.

_I happen to know you are one of the best there are._

_I wanted to see that for myself._

_~EWoC_

Something in your stomach settled for the next couple of weeks as you both started leaving messages one for the other. You both worked on improving your respective systems and started leaving slight breaches for the other to find. You learned a lot from him and you were sure he from you.

After one week of back and forth with 707 you got a call from your boss to ask of your progress. You told him you had a location somewhere in Korea. Of course you would ping for his location any chance you got. And of course you knew he would try to bounce the signal. You came to like the guy’s personality, but you were 18 and scared for your life and you knew you needed to get dirt on him for the secret services.

You suggested to your boss that a trip to Korea could uncover more of 707’s whereabouts and give you a chance to get something solid on him. He pondered your suggestion and said to be ready in a week for the departure. You rationally knew that it would be dangerous for you. You needed to work on a disguise and an alibi and on your papers. You needed a new identity.

You needed to keep trying to win 707’s trust through your messaging system and maybe try and get closer to him once you get to Korea. You had no other information about his guy. You had no idea how he looked, or his age or anything else besides his signature in his code for the matter.

When the time came and you found yourself in an airport in Korea, you were feeling pretty confident in your chances of success. You could pass off as someone other than who you were and you could try your hand at bringing 707’s systems down.

With hope blooming on your chest fresh and new, something dampened it on the ride to your hotel. You came to be fond of your interactions with 707 and the game the both of you played. Could you really do it, could you really successfully finish your mission when it came down to it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a computer science major student and I have no fucking clue whether half the shit I wrote is accurate. Sorry?
> 
> EWoC - MC's hacker name - stands for Error_Wait_No_Children. I chose EWoC because it sounded better in my head that EWNC. And because it has a funny name. No deep meaning behind it.
> 
> You can still find me on [tumblr](http://smokeandneedles.tumblr.com).
> 
> And last but not least: THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your kind words and comments and kudos. You are the fuel that keeps me going and you make my day brighter. I was so anxious as to how this story would go, but your encouragements give me life. THANK YOU. <3
> 
> And before I forget HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE I hope you are safe and surrounded by love.


	4. cl0s3r.rar

You could feel the beads of sweat rolling down the sides of your face as your lungs felt constricted by the heavy weight on your chest. Your labored breath was the main reason you felt dizzy now. With red rimmed eyes you took in your surroundings as your hand rested now on your chest in a futile attempt ease away the pain.

The bedroom was cold. You were cold. The blanket was rumpled at the end of the bed and your skin was breaking with goosebumps. Your throat felt slightly sore, a sign of screaming. You swallowed the lump in your throat in an attempt to soothe the pain and try to get your breathing back under control.

Your right hand was still on your chest as your left one gripped at the sheets. It looked like the nightmares were back. For a split second you felt panic rise your tongue welcoming the bitter taste of bile on its tip. _Shit..._ You thought as your eyes roamed around the room frantically searching for the CCTV camera. You felt like a caged bird praying that even if he weren't asleep., Seven would not be paying any attention to the feed coming from Rika's apartment.

A few seconds passed before your thoughts went back to your nightmare. It took 3 years after you left to finally start sleeping somewhat peacefully again. After that damned night in which you left your agency, your stability, and the constant state of fear you were living in, every time you closed your eyes you could see Luciel's face. His young face. His trusting eyes. The pain lurking right there on the surface. How your heart broke for this boy. Because you knew that pain too well. You felt it at his age and it killed you knowing that someone else was going through what you once went through.

A high pitched yelp left your lips as the phone on the nightstand started vibrating. You swore loudly as your hand clutched at the shirt you wore to bed when you saw the name lighting up the screen. It looked like your prayers were for naught.

You threw the most annoyed glare you could muster in the direction of the CCTV camera then picked up your phone and promptly answered.

"What?" Your voice sounded throaty given the state you found yourself in.

You were once again startled by the response from the other end of the line. A light chuckle. Luciel was _laughing_. You couldn't believe your ears.

"The look you gave me after you looked at the phone. Ha~ That was so adorable." Despite the cheerfulness of the moment you could feel a lingering sadness in his tone. Albeit, you could feel your pulse slightly rising again but for a whole other reason.

"Why'd you call, Seven?"

"Uhm..." You could feel the hesitation in his voice. "I thought you wouldn't want to be alone."

It was an indirect nod to your state. Your clothes, your hair, the sheets, your thoughts; everything was in disarray. The train of thought of self-pity was interrupted by his next words which were muttered so softly you knew you weren't supposed to hear it.

"At least I know I never want to be afterwards."

You tried for the second time that night to swallow around the lump in your throat. Needless to say you couldn't. You wanted to say more, to assure him that would not be the case anymore, that now you would be by his side. But promises were something people like you could not afford.

"Seven-" You tried saying something. Anything. Your heart broke for this man. Images of his young self flashed behind your eyes and in a moment of weakness you felt a strong longing to have him in your arms.

"I know." He muttered, his voice seemingly cracking. You felt a small flicker of hope and happiness blooming in your chest. Despite the pain, and the work you both would have to put in making this work, it would be worth it. He was worth it.

A content sigh left your lips, your mouth feeling dry as tears started rolling down your face. You laid back on your bed, cradling the phone against your ear as you listened to his soft whimpers, trying to muffle your own. You knew this was not a cry of despair but more one born of a strong surge of emotions you both felt. You had no idea how long it took for either of you to fall asleep or which of you fell asleep first, but the next thing you knew was that it was morning and you had a text from Seven on your phone saying _Thank you_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](http://save-my-weeb-soul.tumblr.com).
> 
> Give my beta a [follow](http://leb-haiba.tumblr.com).
> 
> And as always, don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts on this story.


	5. br3ath_0f_l!fe.err

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More details in the end notes, but be careful, I'm upping the rating to Teen because there's some brief language and I want to be sure we're all on the same page.
> 
> Careful for some spoiler-y aspects. Even though I did not make Seven's route, I sort of know what happens in the plot of the game so I may use some aspects you may not have been aware of. Point is, tread carefully.
> 
> Keep in mind that I still don't know how deep into Seven's route I want to go with this. I want to keep it as friendly for everyone as I can.
> 
> The Angst (trademark) though will still be here. Only doubled this time.

The next few days went by in a somewhat haze. You woke up, went to the small kitchenette, made yourself some coffee, ate your usual breakfast trying to keep it down, opened your laptop which you brought to the apartment after your last call with Seven, tried your best to dig around the faint traces of the unknown hacker which brought you here.

The RFA chatroom was buzzing with messages, each of the members trying to find an answer to you joining their organisation so suddenly. Jaehee was the only one wary of you and she had every right to be. Jumin was trusting you as long as V deemed you safe to be trusted. Yoosung was hung up on the fact that it was Rika’s apartment you had access to. Zen tried to flirt his way into every conversation as usual. Luciel, well he kept at it. His overly cheerful personality denoting the fact that he was hurting inside, only for one who would know what to look for, was ever present in each of the conversations.

You two hadn’t exactly talked too much after you both fell asleep to the other’s breathing on the other end of the phone. Truth was your nightmares briefly settled after that and that last call was a somewhat understanding on both of your ends of the circumstances you were in.

The only other person either of you could fully trust with whom you truly were was the other one. The only other person you could care about, was the other one. But in your line of work emotions usually got either one or both of you killed. Never get personally involved with the mission.

And that’s what happened, wasn’t it? What got you out of the mess you were in and put you on every important hit list and on the fugitive list. You got personally involved with your mission. Your flaw: you cared too much.  
But the past was the past. Now, you both acknowledge your feelings silently and went on with everything else, not being able to afford the commodity of truly enjoying the other’s presence.

Your usual routine was still going even after V announced the party would be held in a week. You were not that surprised, but accepted V’s apologies with a grain of salt. You were always wary of secretive people. Actually, scratch that, you were always wary of other people. So even though you came to understand Luciel’s attachment to this group of people you were ready to flee at any moment’s notice if either of them happened to realize who you actually were.

Other than that your days were quite dull. When the sun was trying its damnedest to shine through the thick blanket of clouds your mind was rather quiet. Bored. With nothing in sight. But once the sun set your brain started going into overdrive and wonder and wonder and make plans and going into fight or flight mode more often than not.

All this until one evening when the screen of your other phone flickered to life Seven’s name feeling as if it was screaming in your face. You swallowed around the lump in your throat. If he was calling this number that meant he needed EWoC not you. You squeezed your eyes shut for a brief second then picked up the phone, putting all the confidence you could muster in your voice.

“Yeah?”

A rather deafening silence followed yet he still tried to sound cheerful. “You know how I’m the best hacker security wise~”

Your head turned towards the CCTV camera, eyes narrowing, thinking he would use this number to just brag. But in the following few seconds several things clicked into place. He wouldn’t do that to you. And if that cheerfulness was used just like he always uses it, to hide what he’s truly feeling that roughly meant that despite him being the best hacker in cyber security, someone slipped past his defenses.

“Shit. Is it the same guy?” You asked hurriedly, starting to pack up your hacking equipment. He let out a chuckle possibly at seeing you fumble, trying to balance your laptop and the phone to your ear.

“I was about to say next how you are the best at tracking and how I needed you here, but it looks like you already figured it out.” His voice was so warm and full of affection that you froze into place and tried to hold back the sob threatening to get past your lips. _This asshole._

“I’m coming right now.” You murmured rather quietly, trying to get your limbs to work again to their full capacity.

“Yeah. See you~” With a sing-song voice he dropped the call. You took a few seconds to catch your breath and push all emotion aside. Usually, it was second nature to you, but not when it came to Luciel. Except now Seven needed EWoC, not your usual you, so you braced yourself and got your trademark determined look in your eyes and after gathering all necessary equipment, you made your way to Seven’s house.

The most unexpected thing out of this was him waiting for you at the door. As soon as you were a few feet away from the door, it silently opened and you had this tired and sad man before you. You expected his eyes to look rather sad or tired, a look you knew you wore yourself for the past few years, but you were met with determination and a touch of something else. Fear. There weren’t many people who could bypass his entire system so that he would feel so helpless he would call you.

You made your way inside, slid past him as your shoulders brushed. You tried to reign in your shudder only to be frozen for the second time that day when you took a step into his computer room.

A long brown haired person was sitting at Seven’s computer and when they heard you come in the look they sent you sent shivers down your spine.

“Don’t worry. Vanderwood won’t talk.” Luciel’s warm breath ghosted along your neck. He pressed a light kiss to your cheek, but you still couldn’t move. _Shit._ In your haste to come to Seven’s aid you forgot to try to put any disguise. You knew that all hacker agencies had a picture of you at 18 and there weren’t that many things that changed about it. Hell, even your hairstyle was the same.

Your heartbeat elevated as Vanderwood’s eyes still drilled holes into your skull. You gripped as tight as you could your equipment bag, trying to keep your composure. You couldn’t believe how stupid you’ve been. You ran for five years only to now be caught like a deer in the headlights when trying to help the man you loved. You trusted Seven, but the seed of doubt was already planted. Did he plan all this so he could catch the famous EWoC without feeling guilty of giving you out himself? _No, please._

With wide eyes you turned towards him and whatever he saw there made him take you into his arms.

“Shhh~ It’s okay. Breathe. You’re safe. I’m here.” After what felt like hours, your breathing got back under control. You lowered the bag carefully to the floor and despite the pain in your hands caused by the strength with which you held the handle you put your arms around him and buried your face in his neck as he buried his into your hair.

Only then did you realize the tears streaming down your face. You knew a day in which they would finally get you would come, but you thought you were prepared for it. You knew they would execute you, no questions asked. And you thought you were ready. But with his arms finally around you like that, how could you be ready to have it all taken away.

A loud sob left your lips as you tried to pull him as close as you could. You were so grateful for how he tried to stay strong for you right now because you knew it would break you if he started crying now.

“Luciel…” Your broken whisper made him hold you just as tight.

“I know, baby. I know.” Another wave of tears overwhelmed you at the petname. You wished you both would have met in different circumstances so you could get your craved happily ever after. But you guessed you would take even these little precious moments with him.

A cough caught your attention, but you didn’t lift your head from Luciel’s chest. “I think we should hurry up with trying to track this hacker. His trail is self destructing.”

You gave one final nod and pressed your lips in a soft kiss to Luciel’s neck then took a step back and without glancing at either of them you took your place at the coffee table in the room and set up your equipment in record time.

Then you took Vanderwood’s place at Luciel’s computer and began to work your magic. Seven leaned against the chair’s back, his face next to yours as he watched closely everything you did.  
“She’s here because she works at my agency. The boss has her keeping an eye on me and reminding me of the projects’ deadlines.” He briefly turned his head to press a kiss to your temple. “Vanderwood is good at hacking, but when she couldn’t trace him, I decided to call you.”

You turned your head towards him, looked into his eyes then pressed another soft kiss, this time to the corner of his lips. “Thank you.”

He gave you a small smile an acknowledging nod then moved to his laptop that you didn’t notice was sat on the couch.

With trembling fingers you wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks then placed them on the keyboard, with a deep steadying breath. _Right._ You could do this.

\--

Several hours later after Vanderwood made her way out, Seven seemingly dozing off on the couch, you rose up from the chair.

“That’s it!” You said rather loudly, making the redhead jerk away from where he was seated. You rushed to the couch, stood in front of him, taking his hands into yours. “I figured out his location. You can try to bypass his system now.” With tired confused eyes Luciel glanced at you. He opened his mouth as if to say something. “I know how to do my job so he has no way of knowing I know where he is now.”

In your rush of happiness you pressed another kiss to Luciel’s cheek then wrapped your hands around his neck. With a light laugh he placed his hands on your hips and pulled you into his lap. You both sat like that for a while. His hands made their way under your shirt after a while and settled on the skin of your back and yours held him tight to you both of you losing any concept of time, choosing to bathe into the other's warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for being so late with this update, but my holiday was mostly spent away from my computer. Thus, me being unable to write anything that could actually work with the story.
> 
> Tons of thanks as always to my beautiful and patient beta [@leb-haiba](http://leb-haiba.tumblr.com/).
> 
> As always, I can be found [here](http://save-my-weeb-soul.tumblr.com).
> 
> And don't forget, your kudos and comments keep this story alive. <3


	6. d0nt_l3@v3.snh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hi
> 
> ...I'M SORRY
> 
> okay so uni happened. and finals. aaand a serious lack of inspiration.
> 
> also as i mentioned before this isn't really thought out as i would like, i just go with whatever my brain deems apparently painful enough so forgive my lack of a well planned narrative plot
> 
> [you should check out this painful smut i wrote in between chapters for this one](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9300422)

After sinking into Luciel’s embrace for the better half of an hour, almost dozing off, with a pang in your chest you wanted to pull back. With somewhat reluctance his head moved from the crook of your neck, his eyes avoiding yours, yet a small smile if not rather sad was plastered to his lips.

You didn’t bother to school your expression initially, vulnerability written all over your face. With each inch you got further away from Luciel it felt like a chasm in your chest. The longing for his affection and attention was greater than your willingness to not hurt one another. But you decided you should try and look fine, if not for you then for his sake.

Once standing up, he made his way to the computer chair, neither of you trying too hard to catch the other one’s eyes. After the high of endorphins from the feeling of happiness when you tracked the hacker, the solace you found in his arms left a gaping hole in your chest.

He had the location opened on one screen then on another he started analysing the area surrounding it. Right before you decided to settle on the couch and try to take a nap his voice rang through the empty room.

“You should take my bed.”

“What about you?” you asked rather confused.

This time he turned his head to you, his eyes finding yours, that sad smile on his lips again. It made your heart ache even more.

“I’m not really sleeping.”

With a sigh, you made your way to his room. You decided you would take a long hot shower and then try to coax him into coming to bed. Right before you entered the bedroom you realized you had no clothes with you in which you could sleep so you raided his closet and found a black tee that didn’t look that worn, but still had his scent clinging to it. A pair of gray sweats were lying somewhere in the vicinity so you grabbed those too and a clean towel.

You undressed yourself once you got to the bathroom and took your time in the shower. The movements needed for you to clean yourself were mechanical as your head was flooded with that ever present sense of longing. You let the water spray hit your chest hoping to alleviate the pain, even just in the slightest.

As you took your time with the washing, you also tried to put your thoughts into order. Even though objectively speaking this situation could be solved if you both would just give in to your feelings and talk about what makes this complicated, in truth it wasn’t that easy. You both needed time to sort the other out and yourselves. You needed to start small and build trust and a healthy relationship.

But first and foremost you needed to work on yourselves, not on the other one. And you both had a convoluted past which needed a lot of time for sorting out. A feeling of resignation settled deep in your chest as you turned off the water.

Shortly after you dried yourself you put on Luciel’s clothes and sighed in contentment. It’s been a long time since the last time your felt this comfortable, but you decided not to dwell too hard on it and keep your guard up.

Then you made your way towards where Seven was trying to come up with a plan and found him staring at the ceiling, his chair reclined dangerously backwards.

“Hey, Luciel.” your voice was barely above a whisper, but he startled nevertheless. “You have a plan?”

The smile that was starting to curl his lips upwards froze at your question. His eyes searched yours and whatever he found there made him sigh and turn towards the computer.

“I thought I told you to go to bed.” his voice was awfully cold which made you raise one eyebrow. You would not take this man’s bullshit.

“You’re also tired. Come to bed with me and you’ll finish first thing in the morning.”

He grunted at that and carried on pressing at the keyboard. _So this the way you want to play this?_ You made your way towards him your mind set on giving rubs to his shoulders, but the moment your fingers grazed his skin he jumped back at the contact and he pressed closer towards the desk, further away from you. A dull ache settled in your chest. It seemed as if you could no longer feel it throb because of how used to it you were. You wondered how he felt.

“Luciel, don’t be a baby. If we’re to take on the hacker tomorrow we both need rest.”

He sighed, his fingers sliding off the keyboard then his shoulders hunched.

“Don’t worry, I can sleep on the couch.”

A frustrated sigh left your lips. What you wouldn’t give to just be able to see inside his head, know what he is actually thinking for once in your life. Because no matter what he said, you knew it was never the full truth of it. There was always something he would keep to himself. Maybe this was mainly because you two didn’t really know one another.

Whenever you two talked before meeting you did so with a grain of salt, never truly fully disclosing important things about you, both vaguely mentioning things that hurt you and what made you unapologetically _you_. You met, saw the hurt in his young face and that was what tipped you off, what made the glass overflow with problems and hurt.

This deep rooted desire of yours to try and be more than what you are, your constant need of being better. That’s what got you to be one of the best hackers because at the time it seemed the only way you could surpass your initial condition and one of the easiest paths you could follow in order to gather as much knowledge as you could.

And it worked. Then you got to the point where no further achievement could be made. And you started wondering what else you could do now. Then you met a challenge under the name of 707 and everything got exciting once again. But when that meeting took place and your eyes settled on his you knew that aiding your company in hurting this boy further would not be something that would move you further on your path to being more.

So you just left. Left everything behind. Left a big bullseye on your back.

And you waited.

And hid.

And cowered in fear.

And curled yourself to sleep in the most unlikely places.

And hugged your knees to your chest.

And cried.

…loving how the hot tears would slowly fall down your cheeks warming them up…

...the cold biting and unforgiving…

_Hey._ Faint voices around you. A pair of deeply golden eyes. Red hair. Same face only this time older. Sadder. Harsher. Just like the cold.

You blinked back into the present accompanied by a startled yelp when his hands were gripping your shoulders, shaking you into awareness. You didn’t know how long you were out of it and had no idea what made him change his mind, but the look in his eyes was not wavering.

His voice seemed distant. Underwater. You were seeing his lips move, the sounds coming out not making much sense to your scrambled brain. His hand descended along your arm, his fingers curled around yours and he pulled you towards the bed.

You could barely register how your legs moved or when you got into bed or when he crawled behind you to keep you in his arms.

You were still shivering despite the warmth enveloping you.

...and you were mumbling his name

\---

_Even though I know I don’t deserve this I choose to be selfish just once and have her in my arms before tomorrow._

Before everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [find me on tumblr](http://save-my-weeb-soul.tumblr.com) and come yell at me about my hectic update schedule
> 
> kudos and comments are amazing ways to keep me writing
> 
> i will try being more consistent with this story, but you could check out my other stories to keep yourself entertained and keep an eye out for updates
> 
> thanks for still being here
> 
> and sorry again i love you don't leave pls


	7. one_last_goodbye.exe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I'LL TELL YOU MORE IN THE END NOTES

He keeps her in his arms as if she could slip between his fingers at any time. And so it was. But not because she would leave as he thought it would always would have happened if they even got one chance at a future together.

No. He was the one letting her go. Maybe this chance that brought them together this time would bring them together again. Or maybe she would move on given how much of a broken man he was and how so much more she deserved.

He wanted to let her go now and follow through with his plan in the hopes that whatever he would find at the end of this journey he wanted to embark on would help him be whole again. Because he needed to build himself anew in order to be able to be the right man for her. To be the right man for himself.

Because this need and want to put his broken pieces together was indeed born from the kindness she showed once in the past, but despite all the people he had around him which he cared for he felt like a hollowed out shell of the man he could be.

It all started with the abuse. All “good” stories start with that, right? The hell that woman put him through. The sacrifices he had to make. How time and time again he had to break his own heart for his brother to lead a better life.

But that was fine. It didn’t matter as long as his life was better than his. As long as he was happy. The thought that Rika had been taking care of his twin is what drove him forward in life.

And each day was the same. Just having that computer and the whole world at his fingertips. The power that conveyed. The rushes he would get at first from breaking into places he was not supposed to. The rushes he would get from imposing his own sense of justice and trying to uncover things to the light and make bad people pay for them.

He would do anything as long as he would stay away from his brother so that his life would be better. Because it would be better without Luciel - well, now Luciel - in Saeran’s life, right? That’s what got Luciel through.

The new name and the person he was trying to come off as were all a mask put up in order to try and forget his past. So that it would help him not miss his brother as much and let him live a happy life away from all the abuse, away from every other thing that could cause him unhappiness. For he trusted Rika. He trusted Rika with his life. Most importantly, he trusted her with his brother’s life. That should mean something.

After a while he got into the character he created so well that he could pull it off easily whenever he talked to other people. But when he was alone not even the hacking would make him feel that rush. That sense of danger. The feel of sitting at the edge of a precipice and looking down to see the chasm lying beneath your feet just for a small voice to whisper in your ear _jump jump jump do it_ for the thrill to encompass your whole being.

But then...then she came in. Luciel knew from the very beginning why she was targeting him. But he wanted to play. She had power. She could easily find him if she pushed a little more. She got further into his system than anyone else ever could.

But he wanted to play with her. He could feel that rush again. It was almost as if he could feel a child again, but the stakes were so high that a child he was not, no matter how much excitement their encounters were.

And they talked and chased after one another and got to know the core of the other one. How the other one functioned and their pattern of thought. The exact way of the other one’s coding. Their drive.

It was not as if they talked in detail about these things. But interacting with someone for such a long time on this level, no personal details needed to be exchanged. And before he knew it, Luciel started caring about her. To what extend, that would be later uncovered.

Later when she was in his life no more. Later after they met for the first time and her beauty struck him silent. It was so dangerous to meet one another. For his life it was so dangerous to meet her because she might as well kill him. Throw him in jail. After all, his being was in her hands given that he agreed to actually meet with her. Him that was so careful and secretive.

Only later did he realize the grave mistake he made. But immediately after he realized that she also went away for his sake. Then furthermore realizing that she had been just as vulnerable to him as he had been to her.

Yet none of them put more thought into it and they met and he...he fell in love with her even more. And she...she saw a child in his eyes and saw his struggling and only felt pity for him and...and decided to risk everything in his life for him.

Yeah, right. Even to him his argument sounded weak. Maybe she also loved him. Maybe just as a brother. Maybe more.

Time and time again after that, for years to come, in the dead of the night Luciel would pray to meet her. Even though he knew only this persona he created, this Luciel was the one to pray, not the him from the past. But. He was Luciel now. He would pray. For her safety. For her happiness. He would not be selfish. He would not ask for her return to him anymore.

And right as he realized these things she came back into his life and he felt the rush again. Only this time it was just like the rush your feel when after the cold rain, rays of sun hit your skin. That warmth and love spread through him yet again.

But as time went on and on ever since he was a child, he knew he would never be happy because he didn’t do all that he could to save his brother. He could have done something a longer time ago and saved him and maybe Luciel would get a chance to salvation.

Only this time he had her. But he couldn’t picture a future with her. He couldn’t see himself happy with her. He couldn’t see how he would be able to provide for her. How to make her happy. Because there was still some unfinished business.

And this whole hacker thing only put him even more on the edge of the seat. He has his guessings as to whom that could be. He had his theories. He was a genius after all. Of all the possibilities this could be nothing but a well concocted plan.

So he had to follow his gut and hope to come out of this as a better man than he went into it as. Maybe a man worthy of her love and sacrifice.

And so he broke his own heart again that night as he held her. He had hoped that holding her would dampen out the pain, but it worked quite on the contrary. Because it hurt so very much. And he knew her heart would break too in the morning.

But at least for now they were together. And she was okay. She would be okay. She had to. Maybe Zen or Jumin or Jaehee or Yoosung would take care of her. Better care than he ever could right now. And perhaps one day he will come back and be able to hold her just like now, but without the fear of tomorrow looming over them.

Thus he pressed a kiss goodbye to her forehead, swallowed through the pain and his feelings for her and left hoping that this decision was the right one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so again im sorry for being away for two months  
> and then coming back and finishing this fic like that
> 
> but as i may have mentioned before i started writing this without a plan in mind  
> and that's just not how you should write a longer fic
> 
> but even though this is the last chapter of this  
> i plan a sequel
> 
> when i will have the time i will plan it like i should and i will write it how i should  
> and you will have that happy ending for these assholes you deserve
> 
> because it breaks my heart to end this part like this, but there was no other right ending for it
> 
> so i hope you enjoyed reading this  
> thank you for taking the time to read it  
> thank you to those that stayed tuned to read it as i posted them  
> that must have been hell
> 
> but thank you and keep posted for that sequel and your comments and kudos really helped me actually get through this  
> find me on [tumblr](http://www.save-my-weeb-soul.tumblr.com)


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